What can you do about negative thoughts? Many of us ask ourselves this question every day. Negative thought patterns and mental blockages can be a real problem. Such thoughts can complicate our lives in many ways. So it’s worth finding out how these thoughts come into being, how they work, and what you can do about them.
Can I overcome negative thoughts?
The answer is YES. Whether you’re afraid of the dentist, panic about a lecture you’re supposed to give or panic in other situations. Almost all people know situations that create a negative feeling in them. Sweat outbursts, shaky hands and above all a crushing feeling of unwillingness then lead to the fact that you would like to make yourself invisible. That’s a shame, because both visits to the dentist and presentations are not dangerous from a rational point of view. In these cases, you yourself are the only thing that stands in your way. A little psychological background on the subject can be helpful. You should know how mental blockages arise and what you can actually do against them so that you can deal with them better in the future.
How can I change automated thinking patterns?
I’m sure you also catch yourself sometimes thinking that you don’t treat yourself very lovingly. If you insult yourself inside because you think negatively, it can be dangerous for yourself. Your inner attitude determines your feelings. In most situations it’s not the external circumstances, but your own judgement that makes you feel bad. Let’s take Dani and Jodi as examples. They both work in the same company and their boss asks them to lead one workshop each in two weeks. The whole thing should not take place in English as usual, but in German. Although both speak German equally well, they react differently to the request of the boss. While Jodi is preparing himself joyfully, Dani has his head full of negative thoughts that his German is not enough and that nobody will take him seriously. You can be sure whose workshop is going better.
Just like Dani, we all have certain negative thought patterns, which we fall into again and again. How dramatic they are depends on whether you tend to overestimate negative events and make them bigger than they actually are. Many people also tend to generalize individual events and project them into the future. It also depends on whether you have a tendency to look too much for guilt in yourself or consider other causes.
So everyone has their own way of looking at things negatively. But the good news is that you can change these destructive thought patterns. You need to know that these thought processes are almost always unconscious, which leads you to overlook the implicit conclusions.
In order to break through these thought patterns, you must first become aware of them. This is what the Check-Your-Mind method is for.
How can I solve negative thinking patterns?
The answer is, through conscious, critical review.
The human brain automates many processes to make everyday life easier and save energy. Conversely, this means that it is real work to get thought patterns out of the subconscious sinking and put them to the test. What is the best way to do this?
In the first step of the Check-Your-Mind method you identify your negative thought patterns. You need time, rest, paper and pen. Then you think about which situation triggers negative spirals of thought in you. Try to put yourself as detailed as possible into the corresponding situation and write down which unpleasant thoughts come up. Go through this in your head and think about what thought patterns might be behind these thoughts.
In the example of Dani, the problematic situation of the workshop is in German. Dani thinks that he will use wrong words and everyone will laugh at him, or while he is looking for the right wording, everyone will switch off internally.
Now that you have brought these thoughts to the surface, you are using your mind to debilitate them. Consider three logical counterarguments to each thought you have written down. You should, for example, check whether you already take possible consequences for granted or whether you have already had other experiences. Dani could invalidate his first thoughts like this: “In seminar XY nobody laughed at the lecturer”, “Most people admire it when someone makes an effort to speak a foreign language” and “When I speak German in everyday life, it works”.
Even more effective would be the debilitation of negative thought patterns within the framework of a role play. Find a person you can trust to take over the part of your inner voice and ask them to read your negative thoughts to you in a hurtful tone. And then answer with your reasonable counterarguments, which you have already written down. Repeat this exercise until you have convinced yourself of the more logical, positive view. In this way you gradually gain more self-confidence.
Ask constructive questions and mobilize your resources to gain self-confidence
Low self-confidence and negative thought patterns are closely linked. Fortunately, there are some exercises that are easy to do to improve self-esteem.
Many people tend to blame themselves for negative experiences. Here, too, it usually helps to become aware of the unconscious. Imagine baking muffins, which unfortunately turn out to be inedible. Instead of insulting yourself inwardly, distribute the guilt percentage among yourself, the other participants and the situation. To 40% you are to blame yourself because you have not measured accurately enough, to 40% the originator of the recipe, which is not good, and to 20% it is because of the situation, because the temperature of the oven can not be adjusted precisely. This way you manage to deal constructively with failure instead of torturing yourself with self-reproaches.
Also, get used to asking constructive questions. Instinctively, we tend to ask destructive questions like “Why does everything always go wrong with me? If you become aware of this, replace the question with a more useful version, e.g. “How can I do better next time? Questions that begin with “Why” are usually not real questions, by the way, but are blamed. So try it with a different question word.
Another trick is to mobilize your own powers. Usually you have everything you need, but you don’t have it right now. To change that, there is the resource transporter. You imagine an unfortunate situation and think about what you would need to master it. For example, if Dani is excited and insecure during his workshop in German, he would need self-confidence and confidence. Then you look in your memory for a situation in which you have felt this quality, and change back and forth between the two situations in your thoughts, like in a fast film cut. You try to take the positive feeling with you into the negative situation. It may sound strange, but it works surprisingly often.
In this way many negative thought patterns can already be broken through. However, there are also some who sit deeper because we have internalized since our childhood.
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If you want to know more, have a look at the 11 Ways To Stop Negative Thought Patterns And Move Forward